nameless.

I'm such a loser.
I keep screwing up.
Sometimes I feel like I would be an exception for God's love since I continue to fail Him.
But still, God seems to be my only advocate.
His patience and love is astounding.


.....

Current Confessions.

I would sell my leg for some balance in my life right about now.
I'm gauging my ears which my mother isn't so fond of.
I'm less passionate about God right now.
I'm five weeks behind on my bible study in a year.
I'm jumping up to God as Satan is pulling me down.
I'm losing touch with friends.
I haven't read something that isn't required in months.
I'm losing patience for everything that is coming. A family. A career of ministry.
Bloody hell...

the end.

Raise Your Hand If You're Insane.

Some part of me thought that college would be easier than high school. I thought I would escape the guys that talked about inappropriate things. I thought I would escape the arrogance and the craziness. But I didn't. There are still those guys that I would love to punch in the face. There are still those people that love to talk about themselves. Isn't this place supposed to be about maturity? High school was rough. I was put in lockers, thrown in trash cans, spit on, called awful names, and made fun of. Although college hasn't been that bad yet, I guess I just had high hopes. The truth is that college is hard. All new people. Tons of work. College is asking almost too much for a 21st century student. "Do your homework. Oh wait but you need to study for this exam. Wait you need to go to church. Wait you haven't seen your friends in weeks. Wait your personal life is falling apart. Wait how long has it been since you have read your bible? Wait how many hours of sleep did you get?" There are not enough hours in a day these days. A few more hours would be nice. Balance is a rare commodity these days. I find that I am holding on by a thread sometimes. And even better I am broke, unemployed, insomniac, losing touch with all of my friends, and its only the first quarter. I don't like this. The only good part of college is bible study. I wonder if I could steal a bachelor's and masters degree without actually going to college....hmm. Satan is loving this. he is trying to hit me where it hurts. Its very possible that I will be in a coma by the end of the year. hip hip hooray college is dumb. Worth it?
Thus, concluding the ramblings of an overwrought crazy person.

Learning Experiences

Well let me begin my saying that God is crazy. He is introducing me to people that are so in love with him and that are helping me become closer to Him and help me learn more. I am not really sure what God is up to, but He's up to something. I keep screwing things up everyday, and yet He still loves me. Lately things, on occasion, are rough, but he's helping me through, helping me grow more and learn more. I ask for patience and He gives me cars that are going 55 when they should be going 65, He's giving me people that are arrogant, discriminatory, judgemental, naive, and annoying, He's given me a cat that won't behave, He's given me things that I've heard on the news that break my heart and make me angry, but I am learning. He is answering. Sure I still freak out in my own impatience, but I am learning. He is helping shield me from temptation. He is showing me how to use the gifts He has given me. God is good. 8-)=

A Girl Called Gus And The Case Of Summer Greatness.

Summer is a lovely thing.

Went to Portland for a birthday thing where we were followed by numerous creepers, lost basically the whole time, and had wonderful bacon maple bars from the famous voodoo donut shop.

We all decided to make a trip out to the Tree of Life in auburn. It truly is a great and wonderful tree.

This was a sign that someone had changed around to say "F Old People." One of the greatest jokes of the entire trip to Republic.

We then went to the lake where we decided go on an adventure where we "frolicked" through the wildflowers.

The Team.

This summer has consisted of wonderful friendships, interesting escapades, and has been full of memories. They say a picture is worth a thousand words so I guess there is really no point in continuing any further. That's all folks.

Sincerely,
Kelsey Jo Gus

The Pond Called Life.

I am nothing but a small, scarred fish in the pond called life. I have been caught and reeled in by a great and mighty fisherman named God. I struggle when I get close to Him because it get's hard. I face more challenges and it gets difficult to breathe. So I try and let the line out a bit because I tell myself that I can do it on my own, and I can go back to the last time I felt truly and completely good. But, He still has a hold of me. Even as I push myself away from Him, and deny and disappoint Him, He still has me in His hands. As I struggle, as I hurt, at it gets harder to breathe, He still has a hold of me and has promised to never let go.

Advice.

Don't teach. Learn. Don't ignore. Accept. Don't run. Commit. Finish something. Try to find your true motives. Make up your mind and stick with it so you won't cause so much damage next time.

So long.

Sincerely,
just another girl.