Thursday, April 7, 2011

There's more to life than how many facebook friends we have, how stylish our clothing is, or how low the number is on the scale. "Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you." Romans 12:2. I think, too often, that we get caught up in all of this crap that doesn't even matter in the Kingdom of Heaven. What are we doing to further God's Kingdom? It's about God, not about us. We humans can get very selfish, and try to look out for number one to make sure it happens how we want it to. It won't usually. But God's plan is so much greater. We have to remember that this world is not our home. I know it's not easy. God says not to be afraid of persecution. What stops us from running in the streets to proclaim the gospel? It's scary. But it's something that I want to work on. This world is on fire with people who have the wrong idea about God. I pray that we would all keep growing in our faith so that we feel completely comfortable sharing the gospel with all we meet. I don't really know where this whole thing is going, I just decided to type.
Farewell imaginary followers.

Monday, March 21, 2011

It's times like these when I feel like my prayers are in vain.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Just Call Me Alice..

Sometimes I feel like Alice, wandering around Wonderland trying to figure everything out. I'm falling down the rabbit hole entirely confused about everything in my life. I'm eating cookies and drinking potions that are supposed to make me fit just right but none of them are working. I feel like I'm a giant in a little house. I feel like I'm smaller than a flower in a garden. I'm continuing to wonder why I keep chasing that dastardly rabbit. Whether that rabbit be God, self-esteem, love, patience, or anything else that might cross my path. For the most part now I'm just more bitter than anything else. The truth is that I am afraid of falling astray. I just keep running and running trying to find that rabbit named God. But He is nowhere to be found. I know He must be near, but my heart has gone comatose, and I keep searching for some sort of revival. I wish I could say that its jolly times in Wonderland, but maybe the queen will cut off my head...

Friday, March 4, 2011

A Father killed His Son for an ant....

This life is constantly getting harder and easier all at one. I'll be able to breathe and then something will come in and trash my heart with graffiti and vandalism. Then those scars begin to heal and I'll be able to breath for a short while. All I really know is that I worship a huge and wonderful God that sacrificed his own Son for me. Its as if a Father and Son were walking down the street together and the Father looked down and saw an ant that He truly loved. That it was worth the blood, the hurt, and everything else. He sacrificed His own Son for this ant He saw on the ground. I am equivalent to the ant on the sidewalk. This blows my mind. This love knows no boundaries. It is steadfast. So while I am constantly weary, He is my solid rock upon which I stand. What can touch me with God?

Friday, January 21, 2011


"Here I am, full of dirt, chasing a God I don't deserve.

I am trying to be a better me, but I am stumbling in my daily routine.

Father, come into my heart.

Father, come into my heart.

Father, You're my Bodyguard.

Father, You're my Bodyguard.

Here I am, take all of me, mold my heart, and make me clean.

Your Grace has overcome my sin, You gave me a chance to be born again.

Father, come into my heart.

Father, come into my heart.

Father, You're my Bodyguard.

Father, You're my Bodyguard.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances,

for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Father, come into my heart.

Father, come into my heart.

Father, You're my Bodyguard.

Father, You're my Bodyguard."

God is always there. Ready to forgive, strengthen, and comfort. His love is steadfast.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World.

I feel like I'm being consumed by the world and being pulled away from the kingdom of God.
I am jealous, anxious, angry, and fearful, all of these are emotions that God tells me I shouldn't feel. I shouldn't be jealous of someone else. I shouldn't be anxious about whether or not I'm doing the right thing. I shouldn't be angry at people. I shouldn't be fearful of going in the wrong direction.
This whole facebook-fasting thing hasn't done me well quite yet.
My lack of fellowship I feel is leading me astray.
I just want a telegram from God that gives me a map of what I should be doing right now.
He confirmed for me many times that I should be where I am, but it seems satan is getting in the way of this. It feels like he is reaching into my heart and yanking on my heartstrings until all that is left is the bad stuff---the stuff that I don't want anyone to see--the stuff that creates confusion and the "bad emotions" mentioned above. ^^.

This blog seems to do nothing more than to release some of the stuff that is on my mind.
My followers seems to have reached the number five. wahoo. I was never striving for fame anyways.
If you are reading this, Becca, Becki, Sarah, Rose, or Bryn, please pray.
Thank You.

Monday, December 27, 2010


I'm such a loser.
I keep screwing up.
Sometimes I feel like I would be an exception for God's love since I continue to fail Him.
But still, God seems to be my only advocate.
His patience and love is astounding.