It's times like these when I feel like my prayers are in vain.

Just Call Me Alice..

Sometimes I feel like Alice, wandering around Wonderland trying to figure everything out. I'm falling down the rabbit hole entirely confused about everything in my life. I'm eating cookies and drinking potions that are supposed to make me fit just right but none of them are working. I feel like I'm a giant in a little house. I feel like I'm smaller than a flower in a garden. I'm continuing to wonder why I keep chasing that dastardly rabbit. Whether that rabbit be God, self-esteem, love, patience, or anything else that might cross my path. For the most part now I'm just more bitter than anything else. The truth is that I am afraid of falling astray. I just keep running and running trying to find that rabbit named God. But He is nowhere to be found. I know He must be near, but my heart has gone comatose, and I keep searching for some sort of revival. I wish I could say that its jolly times in Wonderland, but maybe the queen will cut off my head...

A Father killed His Son for an ant....

This life is constantly getting harder and easier all at one. I'll be able to breathe and then something will come in and trash my heart with graffiti and vandalism. Then those scars begin to heal and I'll be able to breath for a short while. All I really know is that I worship a huge and wonderful God that sacrificed his own Son for me. Its as if a Father and Son were walking down the street together and the Father looked down and saw an ant that He truly loved. That it was worth the blood, the hurt, and everything else. He sacrificed His own Son for this ant He saw on the ground. I am equivalent to the ant on the sidewalk. This blows my mind. This love knows no boundaries. It is steadfast. So while I am constantly weary, He is my solid rock upon which I stand. What can touch me with God?