Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Absolutely Nothing At All.

I don't really know what to say. So here is my meaningless blog. Let me stop you here before you read anymore because it will surely end in disappointment. But really, stop reading. There is no surprise twist, no thrilling ending, just me typing away in vain. This sentence here now shouldn't be read by anyone. So, if you're still reading, I'd advise to stop. So please, stop. Really. I'm serious. This is full of nothingness. Just me typing. That's all. If you made it to the end of this, great job, you're are a rare sight. So here it is. Nothing. No meaning. All in vain, because I simply am at a loss of words.


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

September Twenty-third.

Today was a good day.


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Oh so jubilant.

Things in my life are not perfect. They never have been and never will be. There are some things that I wish I could improve, or change, but preeminently, things are good. I have a roof over my head, food on the table. Things are good. Looking good. A bit of silver lining. Shipshape. Things are good. Delighted. Convivial. Pleasant. Things are good.

things are good.

I can't complain.

I'm glad.

things are good. :)

Sunday, September 20, 2009

I am who I am.

I am very stubborn.
To the point where I have been told I am basically climbing my own gurney and sending myself right to the hospital. Stubbornness runs through my veins I guess. It is something that is hard for me to control. Where I go to bed later than I should. Wake up earlier than anyone should. Rest less than any being should. Offer my time to people probably more than I should. But subsequently, I am the way I am. I have been created this way. With stubborness, competition, passion, and ridiculousness running through me. I am who I am.
I am very stubborn.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

The Soloist

I wish I played the violin, the cello, and the drums..

Ardently Seeking Renewal

I am in this sandwich of frustration, exhaustion, confusion, and appeasement. Now this sandwich seems more like a crepe or a burrito-but enough with the food references. I have been shown just how much I have, and how blessed I am, and I still fail to find the feeling of absolute contentedness. I can't help but watch the guilt rise in me as I see this happen. I have so much. I have a house. A car. Food. An education. Clothes on my back. Family and friends that lovingly surround me. A God that loves me. What else do I need? What am I so ardently searching for? It's as if I am waiting for these continual changes to take place in my life. These changes in myself that I wish I could make. I am not capable of molding myself. God has molded me. I am only the clay.
I have become this person exhausted literally all the time. Exhausted physically, mentally, and spiritually. I feel I just need to find the healing rest. The rest that is the antidote to my exhaustion and my restlessness. Subsquently I see that I already know the answer. God. He is my rest. My salvation. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28. I am weary and burdened, and I know that He is my rest. May I be completely filled in Him so that I can rest. So that I can be renewed again. Hitherto I have realized that this entry is basically ineffectual and nonsensical. I inquire what I need, what this search is all about, then I find that all I need is God. "I have such a short memory so You keep reminding me of You." As I keep falling down, forgetting, here I am being reminded of what I essentially need. Just a bit more faith and a lot more patience.